I am filled with affection, sadness and nostalgia. I was all alone in my room and having a picture of Quezon National High School , one of the best public school in Quezon, has molded my mind for four years. I am in the last year of my high school life and still I'm not yet ready to bid my goodbye to it and state my farewell speech.  It is a thought at once happy and sad - happy because I have completed a stage in my education, and sad because I have to part from my Alma Mater which has really shaped my life. But , what's the hardest part in leaving my high school life? Everything especially those persons who became part of my sweet and fruitful journey . 

        "Paalam sa'ting HULING SAYAW", may dulo pala ang Langit kaya't sabay tayong bibitaw sa ating HULING SAYAW" :(

              IV-ARV 2012-2013
De Castro

What's the best way of saying farewell to you guys? I have no idea. Cause goodbyes are really painful. I don't want to cry but everytime I remember that we were leaving , my tears automtically fall. Why is it hard to say goodbye? Is it just only because we have so many  memories that we shared? Is it just only because we were afraid that when we go to college , our friendship will be gone? There are many reasons why and every single day is the reason. 
"Nasanay kasi ako na lagi kayong andyan ARV" :(

     "Ito na ang ating huling sandali, di na tayo magkakamali"

         I can see everyone smiling , even Nikko was staring at Cian's face. (haha). See how our Nanay Ayie did her pose. It's obvious that everyone made the pose "Saludo". (one of our favorite pose in the class) Dati rati , we were just watching seniors having their class graduation picture but time is running so fast, we never thought that we wore this toga and cap already and have our graduation picture. I know what you're feeling that time ,though we really wear our sweet smile for this , there is really sadness inside saying "Inhale, exhale, mamimiss ko talaga ang ARV". So sad to say, we are still not complete in that grad pic because Mami Jue was not there. Don't worry , you are present in our hearts that time. :>

  "Kasi wala ng bukas ,
Sulitin natin ito na ang wakas"

          Ang saya saya pala talaga natin. ;')
We were going to miss each other so much. I want to be back to this place and have some party all night again! Gonna miss this one. The party in th farm house! :(

   Hawakan mo aking kamay 
Bago tayo mag hiwalay 
Lahat lahat ibibigay, lahat lahat 

Paalam sating huling sayaw 
May dulo pala ang langit 
Kaya't sabay tayong bibitaw 
Sa ating huling sayaw 

      I really don't know how to start my farewell speech to my ARV family. Inhale , Exhale. Here we go.

 Sir Ariel Vinas
-- You are one of a kind! You're great , talented and a good adviser! You always understand us , you make us  feelloved. You're our mom when we were in school, you protected us , guide us and make us happy. We'll really miss the Queen of the Dancefloor and your best dance steps ever! :)
Thankyou Sir Ayie! We love you! I will really miss you. 

CMAC-C :')

    Everytime I am with you guys , I can't avoid myself from laughing too much. You became a big part of ARV. You're so fun to be with. You're so good in many ways not just only in kalokohan. I really enjoy our bonding moments together. 
   Calu : You've been my classmate, my crush , my inspiration for 6 years?! Haha. How can I ever forget you dear? You've been good to me all the time. Thankful enough coz you made me realize that I can be whole again. I learned a lot from you and you have made me the strong and matured person that I am right now. I'll really miss my co-anchor. Even if the we didn't make it the last time we compete,  I still believe that we're the best that time, the TWO of us. If Destiny would wants the two of us to be together, the universe will  make our paths cross again in the future -no matter how impossible it may seem. Maybe by that time it would be “our” time. (PS: There's more , wait :>Hihi ) I'll miss you Baby!
   Maku : I'm so thankful that you are my RP partner and you should be thankful also that I am your partner. You're lucky enough! Chos. :>
I know we're not that good when it comes to grammar, spelling , etc but what's special about us? We're both "MASIPAG". Oops! Is that true? I know you would agree with this! You will always be a good RP partner no matter what! Yiee. By the way, JEC-JEC and you look cute together. <3 Im so kinikilig. :p I'll miss you Tay!
  Andu : Can you imagine? You were once called as Budoy but now you're a hearthrob dude! I'll never forget the times that we'rehaving a serious conversation. and I'm thankful coz you trust me for all the secrets that you've told me. I congratulate you for being not torpe-do anymore! I'll miss you Andu!
  Cedu : You are just somebody na aking nakilala, sombodyyy!!" Hi Cedie! The best conyo boy I met, you will always be remember because of your conyo lines. I'm so glad that we're close since first year and I hope that our closeness will never fade when we go to college! Thank you for providing our name tags since we're freshmen! I'll miss you Cedie!
 Cianu :  You are so childish but you are so sweet. You've become a good friend of mine cause I can always count on you Ciano. Can you please take good care of Ate deth if ever na? HAHAHA. I'll miss you Ciano!


   First of all, Im sorry guys. I am the one who made that abbreviation. Haha.Im so crazy that I don't know what will I call to your group because it's you that have been always together.
   Jana : I'll miss those times when we were practicing in your house. Of course, I'll miss you more! :) Thank you because you were so kind enough and understanding. I also remember those times when we were celebrating your birthday in your house, it was yearly. Remember when we were in 3rd year, I am one of the people who always tease you from kuya Jb. Haha. I miss the both of you together! LOL. Take care ate Jana! :) 
  Radz : Hi Mami Radz! I can't remember why I called you Mami but I never regret it. You were one of my Mami in school coz everytime I don't understand a lesson , I always ask you. Haha. I'll never forget your laugh coz it's drivin me crazy. It's like Bwuhahahahaaha! Take care Mami Radz! :)
  Nina : Remember when we were in first year, I thought that you are serous in life but it's a mistake you're crazy faye! Haha. And everytime I spend that craziness with you , I feel happy ! You make jokes with a serious face and that make it best! Take care Faye! :)  
  Czam : We've been friends for 6 years and to be honest with you, your beauty never fade! You're really AWE-CZAM! I'm so thankful that I can share stories and even secretswith you. You're one of the persons who I trust. I always enjoy having a chika with you ! Hello Czamiloo, Czambie , Mark is so lucky to have you ! Take care Czam! :)
  Neriane : "I'm a barbie girl in a barbie world". Remember this? Hahha. Back way when we were in 2nd year.You really look a barbie that time and our performance is really great! I'll miss your smile Mareng Neri! Take care :)

DRC <3

  Liane : Babes!We became very close when you've become part of the Radyo niyugan! You were my companion and story teller that time. ^^ I really miss those times and I will miss it more when we go to college! :( To be honest with you, I have a lianephobia but it is now gone. You're kind , sweet and a great friend! Miggy, oops! Liane! You're the best reporter I ever heard. :> 
Thanks babes!
 Jec-jec and Inay : I will never forget the both of you. You were my prettiest and dakilang kasabay every uwian! Everytime we have our conversation , I experienced fun! We almost shared so much stories , jokes, and kabulastugan in life! Hahah. I love it and I love the both of you! :*
 Incez : I will really miss you ! Grrr! The way you laugh , the way you tease me with taba. You're one of my groupmates in SIP since 3rd year and I know we went through a lot of trials and challenges! Don't worry! Failure will turn into success! Have you moved on with the 75 something? Hahaha. :D. Thanks De Castro!
  Cheber , Ara , Intel : You all look gorgeous especially when you wear your smile. Thankyou because I can lean on your side when I have problems. You three are so creative! I hope you will never forget "Paui" when we go to college. Intel , you're gonna be a teacher or professor in Filipino someday I trust you! Ara, I really see you as a doctor in a future! Gluck! Cheber, I can see the success in your eyes , aim for it!
Thank you girls!
  Madam : I cried last time because you shout in front of me but I ignored that already. I know nman that you're our atake queen and no one will replace you for that. I still love you Madam and I'll miss you !
  Russel : You're the best choreographer ever! You contribute a lot in every achievements our class received. You're really talented, you know how to sing , dance and etc! I'm very proud of you Russel! Thankyou for the unforgettable dance steps and choreo !
  Nikko : I will never ever super duper uber forget you neku! You're unique , cause you're a clown at the same time a stallion! Jk! I'll miss you.  :( I can't imagine my college life without a classmate like you. I always have fun with you! Thanks for the memories Neku! <3
 Johnny : You never fail to make me laugh. You're one of my special friends ! We've been groupmates in many subjects for years. I always want to be with a friend like you Johnny , you really entertain not only me but the whole ARV. "Sorry na nman , kung nagtatampo ka sa akin because of him." I love the both of you remember and he loves you also. We're all friends. I'll miss you Johnny! :>


 G-anne : Your pencil case is a bookstore. Haha. I got that line from you. Thanks for being so generous and kind to me. I'll miss you G-anne!
 Meanne : " You're sexy and I know it". Haha. I will really never forget it, we we're so shocked at the same time amazed because we never expect that you would do that. You get easily insane din pala e like me. Haha. I know the both of us are fond of making waley jokes and we admit it. I'll miss you Meanne!
 Lea :  I really admire this girl for being so talented. Can you share your talents to me? Haha. Many says that you are so strict but that makes you the best, becauseyour accomplishments are really great! I'll miss the way you laugh with your funny gestures. Take care Lea!
 Deth : I'm older than you, right? But I used to call you Ate Deth . :') Why? Cause I treat you like my own sister. We've been seatmates , chatmates since we were in the elementary. CASQUEJO-CABANA friendship will always be the same ha! I hope nothing will change! lOVEYOU!


  Angel : I found out that you are good in dancing last feb. 14. Hahah. We we're so amazed that time, we never thought that Angel would dance! She's a big girl now! Hahha. I do love you Angel! You're always my tanungan ng assignment and I'll miss you. I really do!
 Joycemae : To begin this , I just want to tell you I want your sister for my brother. Hahahah. I thought you are so quiet but when we had our conversations , I really had fun and say "sarap pa lang kakwentuhan nito e". I'm so thankful coz you also shared your own stories with me and you can trust me for those. I'll miss you Joycemae!
 Hilary : I love my seatmate ever! We've been seatmates for 3 years and that leads to our incomparable friendship and closeness. I miss our table in 3RD year, we were seatmates all the time except chem, mapeh , tle. I remember how Ysay and you comfort me whenever I have problems. I'll miss you ba! :( 


 Adrian : I always smile when Sir roe calls you Bossing. It becomes traditional na kasi. Thankyou for being a good friend of mine! :') I'll never forget you !
 Jazz : You're the best kaasaran ever! I'll miss you! You're always be my chuchu and I'll always be your master. O'cmon. Please tell me the truth , because you always lie when you say that I'm ugly. You're bad , but still I'm going to miss you! <3 Paui!
 Jueann : All hail! The math wizard in our class! We're so blessed to have one like you! I'll miss you Mami jue! You're one of the people in my high school life that I considered as my mami! I'll miss you!
 Joyce : I used to call you Ate joyce ever since coz you're one of my sisters in school. You're good in giving pieces of advice. You're blogs , essays are such an inspiration! Em gonna miss you Ate Joyce. :>
 B-anne : Dear, you're simple but really awesome! You look pretty all the time that's why you have so many suitors. Hahha, you're a social wizard! Thumbs up! ;) I'm gonna miss the way you pronounced names and other words! Takecare dear!


  Angie : I will always be your mom and you will always be my daughter. Don't afraid to tell what you feel. We're always ready to help you Anj, we don't want to see you cry anymore baby! I'll miss you! :') ONE<3
 Mother : Thank you for being there when I always ask help and someone to lean on. You will always be beautiful in our eyes! :') Yieeee. Remember nga pala , we can be both Brgy. Captain in the future , haha. See you soon Mother! Apir! :)
 Julie : I used to call you Ate Julie! I know you since we were in Grade 1. You don't remember me that time coz I tranferred after a week. Sayang , I want to spend more crazy moments with you ! :) You're one of a kind ate Jam! You're as sweet as strawberry Jam but as sour as pineapple when you get mad. 
 Shaina : Manager! Don't you dare to forget our talent branch ha. I'll miss you. I'll miss the way you do your craz stuffs! Ayyt! Ang buhay ayyyy :"Tahimik" at tayo ayyyy "Maganda". Hihi! Always remember that shai!
 Vivien : I always feel comfortable every time I am with you Vevz. :') You're such a great friend of mine. You're so hyper and that makes you unique! We love you Bunso! We're so blessed to have a friend that is super galing , super ganda! Ohaaa! Don't forget Paui ha!
 Euan : Lucky to have you as my friend! You are so pretty as you always say! Haha. Thanks for being there for me. You know I can trust you. You've always been my idol! I miss those times when we were in the room of Geometry. Haha. The scene that happened in the first day. We will never forget Mam Bunales. Seriously! :) Euanae rocks!

My newest but coolest classmates

 Joan : It's good to be your classmate again. I know we're not that close  when we were in second year but atleast ngayon we've been groupmates in SIP so kahit konti oras we have that time together. Joan! Kwento ka nman! Gonna mis ya!
 Eman : I'm happy na nakilala ko tlga ikaw Eman! I thought you were so serious in studies when we were in 3rd year. You have a lot of crazy stuff pala! You're an easy go lucky person but still good! :) Go eman! Tc! Aim high!
 Alexis : People change and you change. I'm so happy for that. I am so irritated to you before coz you made me cry, you hurt me with your harsh words but now I think you've realized now you're mistakes. Don't worry. Alam ko bumabawi ka nman, and everyone is given a chance na magbago kaya go lang! Aja alexis!

                     COCO FAMILY
- Boss nIca    - Joshua      - Seamus
- Gian           - Bianca      - Keihle
- Camille        - Gellian       - Carlo P.
- Trisha         - Justine     - Kristine
 -My classmates who are part of this

      I'll miss you. Thanks for the memories!

                      SSG Family
- Ecca        - Rombert  -Wendy   - Martin
- Patrick      - Jay        -Andrea  - Toby
- Kaeremon   - Laurence  - Roxanne  - Micah
- All my co-officers that are not mentioned

      I'll never forget you guys! Gonna miss you all! 

         PAUVEN FEVER! :P
It took lots of time and patience until I have reached moment that I’ve felt I can wholeheartedly say that I can open my heart once again. But looks like Universe is playing a game on me, as I was closing the “you and me” chapter of my book all of a sudden by a twist of faith our paths crossed again. I super duper uber hate you for breaking my heart. I super duper cry when we let each other go. I just hate that everyone is saying na "simula nung nwala ka, wala na konG sineryoso guy". I hate you for that! Then you're leaving me again! :( I hate you!

 Joke lg baby! :'> HAHAHA. HAAAY.
 Im gonna miss you Carlo Olyven Hermita Bayani so much! :'( I can't imagine myself smiling without you by my side. (Sorry kung emo na but I can't control it.) You've been my hero since we were in grade Iv. You've been saving me from any pain and sadness. I'm so stupid when I let you go before. :( I thought that you can no longer be my prince and I can no longer be your princess. "Sobrang nasaktan ako that time, and It was really hard to move on. You were my first love.". But past is past. I actually move on with that pain but not with my feelings for you. :') It's funny how destiny works, it's funny how we become close again. I'm happy that I can tell you what I'm feeling right now. I know words aren't enough but I'll try my best to prove it. Sobrang naappreciate ko yung effort mo last time and every time na binubuo ko yung puzzle , I am crying. Maybe you're right. You're my missing piece and I want you to be with me to make me complete. ILOVEYOU ! I'LL REALLY MISS YOU! :'(

 "You will always occupy a special place in my heart. I am still holding on to the thought that someday we will be together. I can still picture out my future with all of you  But at the moment I need to move away from you before  the new world is now started to build. For now, I don'tknow if I’ll be moving on to the next chapter of my book. Let us have our fair chance of a happy ending. A sweet goodbye to all of you! Farewell! :(

 This is Paui! Signing off! :)

Those we hide from others and those we hide from ourselves are secrets. 
 I have secrets to tell. Well, it will not be secrets anymore right? :) Dare to know it. 
    *Secret turns to Confession. 
 " Confession is always weakness. The grave souls keeps it own secrets and takes its own punishment in silence" --Dorothy Dix

  These things really hurt me ! Grrr! </3

 I can't remember that date when we received it. I don't want to remember it anymore. It still effin hurts. :/ Flashback !!!!

 (Tambayan of 4th year near Alcala bldg ) I was so busy then ....
 Me : Oy. Ano yan?? Write up? Shocks! Binibigay na ! Asan na kaya yung amin? 

     I was really nervous with our grade. The first write up I saw was the write up of Group 8 . Liane's group. Woooah. They got 93! 
I went to my groupmates. I was really kabado. 
Then I saw Alexis. He whispered something in my ear. 

Alexis : Paui , 75 (SEVENTY FIVE) tayo. :(
Me : What the! Seryoso? Asan na baga yung write up natin??? ( Annoyed already) -.-
     I didn't believe in what Alexis told me. His face was serious but the fact that he said that our grade was like that. I was like A-E-I-O-U. GRRR! Then I saw Joan. 

      I asked her. Can I have our write up? PATINGIN.! (My voice was already high. I was like screaming at Joan's face. >.< ). Then. IT WAS TRUE. SEVENTY FIVE. 75. WTF! WTH! My tears were starting to fall. :( Some of my classmates were already asking why am I crying.? My whole day was ruined. It feels that everything we've done in our EFFIN Science Investigatory Project is a Failure. Sleepless nights , wasted time and money weren't enough. We have repeated that write up for so many times , we went through a lot of experiments but we got NOTHING just Failure. SIP was 40% our grade. Im still worried for me and for my groupmates. We've tried our best babies. Is this really our fate? Damn. I can't help but cry. :( Everytime I remember this one, my tears are ready to fall.

   Dear Jazz ,
           We kept this from you. You didn't know this yet. We didn't want to disappoint you that time because you were in the hospital. :(
Im sorry JAZZ. You know how hard we tried but still it's epic. How I wish we'll able to move on with this. 

 Don't force me. I'm not yet decided. 

        I'm scared to tell this to my family. Maybe they won't understand me or maybe they will really make me understand that their decision is really the best for me. 

        Time check : 8 :40 PM. We arrived home at 6 pm. We went to Quezon City. Why?
I took an admission test in New Era University in Quezon City. My grandparents really want me to study there. They're really forcing me. When I saw the school , it was nice and big. They also offered many courses. Their facilities were really organized. My grandpa said that if I study there , I'll be in dorm. My reaction was : Uhh! DORM? How can I really be independent? The dorm was inside the campus. I though that the university was really strict. :/ Before, I want to study in Manila but now I think my mind is currently not sure. :( What if they really want me to study there? They're already decided. :(
I'm not. 

       This time , I Apologize. :)

John Mark Malabayabas Cuario

     You're on of my closest friends. You really make me smile because of your jokes and stories. I really enjoy life when I am with you sis. You're a good comforter, adviser and of course a friend but I really want to apologize for something. :( 
    Sometimes , I feel so guilty every time you saw the both of us together. I think that I make you feel hurt "lalo na kaibigan mo pa nga ako". I feel sad every time you said or mentioned a word connected with "mang-aagaw" even if that's a joke. You know naman what I feel for him , right? And I know what you also feel for him. Sorry if you think I make you jealous. Sorry if the both of us hurt you. :(( I'm just worried about our friendship. I really want this friendship to last. You're a good friend and I don't want you to hate me. :'( SORRY SIS.  LOVEYOU! 

    ' Six degrees"

     I really want to apologize for so many times . I tried to do this personally but this phobia won't let me. "Athazagoraphobia : Fear of being ignored. "  I know you won't listen , you're still mad at me or you don't still understand why that thing happened. Let's go to the point. I'm sorry if I hurt you. Your ghost still hunt me and I still feel that guilt. I really want everything to be alright after this school year ends. We belong to the same group , the ssg and the assembly but every time we'll be together , we still feel that "ilang". I know you're still mad. I can feel it. Sorry Mart. I don't want things to be complicated that's why I did it. And to admit it, I was really hurt with your harsh words.  It effin hurts but still, I want us to be friends but I already accept the fact that it won't happen anymore. Maybe this is my way to confess what I really want to say to you.  Sorry.  

     Angie- Princess-Julie-Shai-Vevz-Euan

        I miss you girls. I really do. Sometimes I feel out of our group because I missed so many stories. I became busy before and I admit I forgot to manage my time with you friends. I really want to apologize for everything. Sorry for being "makulit" . I always want to askif you're mad at me already. Promise, babawi ako friends! :) I want our closeness back! I have so many stories to tell! I love you! I'll always do! I don't have any problems with you girls. You're all sweet , kind and of course pretty! (Yie. :p)  Remember , there will always be a rainbow. There will always be US. FRIENDS  :)  

Do you still rememeber these names Wowa, Mameng , Marina , DUgong, Dugyot, Bendita , Agua? :D   

               ARV is FOREVER LOVE <3
            You became my strength ,  my happiness , my family , my everything. So who the hell will say that it will be alright to lose you guys ? What hurts now is the fact that we're leaving. Few weeks remaining , all I want is all of us  to be happy and free from all of our effin requirements. You contribute a lot in my memory box. All of our laughter and cries are included there! We really deserve to be happy my dear classmates! Let's spend time wisely! THREE WORDS : WHAT THE F*CK! I still want to be with my crazy Arv family in college! :(

                    Jelly-Ace. -.-
     Seems that everything is connected. I feel it. I'm just afraid to ask questions before. What if? Is there something? Well, it's been a long time and finally I found an answer already .  

                       Pig heart! <3
             HI baby! Remember your birthday party , I was like A-E-I-O-U (o_O.) that time. Our classmates were teasing me from the start  "papakilala ka na nan" and I was so nahihiya because the clown thought that I was your "hmm". The moment when I was called "na samahan ka maghati sa cake, sobra nahihiya ako na hindi ako makangiti ng ayos sa picture" and the moment when I met your grandpa my hands were really cold that time and I was really speechless. I just want to admit that "matagal akong nakaget over to what happened." Mixed emotions e. Nahihiya , namumula, I don't know why. -_-. Haha.  I'm really happy when we were together but I'm really afraid to lose you once again. :'( I'm not yet ready to leave you  this time. We both not agree that "ldr"  will work. I really want to ask something but my mouth can't speak up whenever we're together. You always make me kilig, you're the reason why I smile always , I feel so comfortable and glad when I'm with you. You keep on visiting me in my dreams , keep running in my mind. Oh, can you just stay in my heart? ( Wth.. that's why I don't want to include you here, I'm so much arti and corny na)
I'll be strong enough to lift not one but both of US.  

There are three kind of secrets :
1. Something that you hide at the bottom of your heart because you don't want it to be mentioned.
2. Something that you can't say even if you want to. 
3. Something that you hope someone asks about even though you're hiding .
            So what kind of secrets do you have? Well, I've said enough. Thanks for reading this! Please leave a comment. ;)